Sympathy
Sympathy
I wonder if you have watched the Downton Abbey Grand Finale in the Cinema yet? The film seeks to wrap up the stories of the various much loved characters. They may therefore retire to live with their husband or wife, move to a new house or forge ahead in the world of theatre and Hollywood.
Unlike the news in today’s real world, nothing very bad happens… and whilst being asked to leave a party is a mite embarrassing it is not earth shattering. It is a personal challenge but Lady Mary, in this case will get through it.
It is however clearly hard to leave Downton Abbey as they all keep coming back. Mr Carson sits down in the kitchens yet again and, even if Mrs Patmore is going to live with her husband in his house, I can’t help feeling she may well return to help Daisy from time to time. Of course Lord and Lady Grantham are not going far... nor are Anna and Bates.
‘Retiring’ originally meant pulling back in a military sense, to regroup and consider the lie of the land. Today, the concept of retirement and pensions is a fraught one as we all live longer but pensions are underfunded and a consistent problem both for governments and all of us. However, it is not necessarily healthy to do nothing with either mind or body.
Don was a hugely knowledgeable gardener here for 42 years - he did do less towards the end of his life but preferred to do something, to be part time. Les, a complete legend and head of security, sort of went part-time but preferred to come in most days until the age of nearly 96. It is quite often my role to explore what Team Highclere wish to do, to listen to them. I think the root of the word ‘sympathy’ is key – it is about fellow feeling, of community and being together. How can we all make it work.
In this third film everyone does pull together and, one noticeable step change is the relationship between Lady Mary and Lady Edith. There are some most amusing barbed comments but also genuine support and sympathy between the two sisters. Equally Cora has sympathy for her feckless brother rather than frustration and fury. Julian Fellowes allows to perceive how positive it is to be tolerant as Thomas Barrow ‘s life unfolds in a happier way. Meanwhile Lord Grantham is quite often out of sorts but is brought round by his wife who is a central compassionate spirit leading us through the two hours on screen. Happy wife, happy life.
Far earlier in the Downton saga, Mrs Patmore says to Daisy “Sympathy butters no parsnips” meaning that kind words are not necessarily practical – it is about doing not just talking. Arguably, however, better actions are the result of sympathy and kind words. The world of Downton is a wonderful sunlit respite from impetuous tragic misunderstanding and discord.
My favourite character? The Castle, always there and not retiring…
29 Comments
Thank you for the wonderful commentary on the newest Downton Abbey film. We enjoyed the story and especially enjoyed seeing the castle once again. Best wishes for a wonderful autumn.
There were some beautiful shots of the Castle
While I adhere to, "Happy Life, Happy Wife". I especially love, "Happy Spouse, Happy House". This is what seems to sum up all that is Highclere.
I like that !!
Just going to see the film in harrogate and eventually I will see the real thing
Loved the movie finale. Sad to see this wonderful story go. My next place to go is to visit Highclere. Cannot wait to see where this family unfolds and see where yours is a constant.
I recently saw Downton Abbey Grand Finale and loved it. I followed the series through all of its seasons and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was always a delightful getaway from everyday life. Hope the future holds good things for all of the characters. Your blog summed it up beautifully
Thank you!
spin off and a continue of the movie as younger violet or is it cora
It was interesting and entertaining to see the Downton Abbey Final movie with the original actors that were able to participate in it and the outside
and inside areas of Highclere Castle. Good luck to you and Lord Carnarvon for keeping it livable inside and out.
I just watched it on the weekend, I am a die hard fan of the show, I have watched the series over 10 times, it gets me through frustrating times. I loved the Grand
finale, cried like they were family. After having visited Highclere Castle last year, I watched the movie with a new and and closer perspective. It was like I was
watching the movie unfold in a very familiar place. I can't wait to visit again!!!
I appreciate finding your writing each Monday; It is both thought provoking and insightful. I do tend to use sympathy for sad happenings such as funerals, etc., but use understanding as an important acknowledgement and recognition of people's situations, travails, and thoughts. Unfortunately, empathy is often labeled 'woke' in some current circles, and tends to be denigrated by strong-minded people who feel their philosophies and directions are the only right ones. I do wish people of different persuasions in all endeavors would get together and develop solutions that help the majority of people. Thank you for providing us with thought-provoking commentary each Monday - a 'responsibility' that continually requires extensive effort.
Thank you for reading
Daughter and I plan to see the movie together. Much as I look forward to it, I'm okay with waiting a bit so I can look forward to it.
Also I'm not dwelling on the "absolutely last one" part of the story.
I can always hope for a re-boot in some form.
I am gong to see the Downton Abbey finale and lam fan of Downton Abbey and lovely highcelere castle and did you and lord Carnarvon have a wonderful weekend
We visited Highclere last summer with dear friends and we four decided that we must see the final film together, which we did on opening day. It was lovely to see memories of the “real” Downton Abbey. All good things must come to an end, sad as it may be. Thank you Lady Carnarvon for sharing your home and for yet another beautiful chronicle.
Judy from the USA
I visited Highclere in 2016 on the Downton Abbey Tour! I am still basking in the thrill of it! Watching the final movie was so fun but also brought tears because it was final. It was also so fun because I had been there and walked up and down that famous and regal stairway; been right there at the Salon; walked around that beautiful balcony!
I am so thankful that I can watch the entire Downton Abby Series on repeat and repeat, which I do regularly!
Thank you Lord and Lady CANARVON for sharing your wonderful castle with the world!
I went to see the final film yesterday(09/14/25)..
I'm glad I brought tissue. It was amazing seeing everyone again.
I'm sad this is the final film. Thank goodness for reruns on Amazon Prime, lol! I'm on my 12th time watching Downton Abby.
I'm keeping their story alive.
Have a great, safe day!
Lilly A.
Big fan of the series and Highclere Castle. We were fortunate enough to visit Highclere this last July and had a great time.
Sending many thanks to you and your staff.
Rick Burfoot
A truly wonderful end - how lucky you are to drive up to the castle, it was such an evocative moment in the film! When I was fortunate enough to visit and walk through the front door - it was so exciting! I think my partner thought I was mad but the pleasure was real and although a fair while ago, I can still remember the magic and it made watch (the first cinema showing locally) all the more special.
Thank you for your part in this amazing spectacle and journey with the Crawleys!
Loved the Downton abbey finale ,saw it yesterday,so sad there were tears towards the end of it.will you miss being invaded by the film crew etc? or relieved to have your home back ?
We just watched the movie yesterday & it was lovely to see the family move along to their next chapter. It was such a change without the great Dowager Countess & a lovely tribute at the end. We visited Highclere maybe around the time of the 2nd season & we hope to return soon. Thank you for allowing the Downton fans to visit.
Amo la vida alrededor del castillo, es una serie y pelicula que enamoran, lady Carnarvon gracias por compartirnos todas estas maravillas, un saludo.
I saw the Downton Abbey finale and it was fabulous. The person I thought about the most was you and how now it is your turn to train up the next generation to someday take over Highclere Castle. Your husband is so fortunate to have you as a partner. I know you both work very hard to keep it going. Good luck to you both and thanks for your blog every Monday.
After visiting Highclere Castle, I can clearly understand why the castle is the protagonist in Downton Abbey. What a majestic place to live in. I picked up quite a few pinecones as we walked through the property and I have them displayed beautifully in a bowl in our living room. It’s a lovely reminder of our visit to your wonderful home. Thank you for sharing it with us.❤️
I visited the Castle on April 8, 2017, and when the Castle first appeared in the film, I was thrilled!
Booking our cinema seats really looking forward to seeing Highclere having been there a few years ago ,was the one thing a good friend wanted to visit she was so poorly but she visited and this weekend the family and I did the starlight stroll in memory of Rachel thank you for aninteresting read
Had the pleasure to visit your magnificent home and property in May of this year for the second time. Will never visit England again unless a tour of Highclere is included. What memories were created.
Seeing Highclere Castle in person, touring the rooms and walking down the red stairs was surreal and made the The Grand Finale even more special! Thank you for opening your home to so many of us to experience the Real Downtown Abbey. Love from KC! Joe and Jamie
Big fan of the series and Highclere Castle, thank for the use of your home. I hope you will keep up with the going ons at Highclere Castle. I do look forward to monday and your Blog Thank you so much. fondly Jenny
I visited Highclere Castle on the 21 August this year and throughly enjoyed every moment and i am going to see Downton Abbey the finale this Thursday so it will be wonderful to remember I actually went there. I also bought a magnet
“Nothing very bad happens” Those words.
Thank you for a moment of respite in these strange times. Looking forward to a joyful “Downton Abbey” binge.
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Thank you for your posts that I relish and look forward to. You are a role model for us all.
You are kind! Less a role model than trying to find the glass half full!